Rewriting My Relationship With Alcohol
Rewriting My Relationship With Alcohol
Table of Contents
The Monday Morning Reality Check
When Old Habits Follow a New Life
Recognizing the Identity Gap
Setting New Parameters
Rebuilding a Relationship With Alcohol
Rewiring Old Thought Patterns
Letting Go of Old Identities
The Monday Morning Reality Check
It was a Monday morning. I had just dropped my husband off at the airport for his work trip, and I decided to treat myself to a day of working remotely from a cozy café in New Orleans. The problem was I felt like I was pulling myself through mental sludge. I sat down to write and work, but my thoughts felt out of reach and all I could really do was drink my coffee and order something to eat. To put it frankly, I was hungover.
I gave up trying to work remotely and decided to make the 45-minute drive home. During those 45 minutes I got more meaningful work done than I otherwise would’ve done sitting in the café. This is where I realized that it’s not an addiction problem, but a lifestyle that was still deeply rooted in an old identity.
When Old Habits Follow a New Life
I’ll back up here. This lifestyle I speak of, that was made up of drinking most evenings and then in excess nearly any time I was with friends and family, was leftover from the days I was partying as a skydiver and then later as an isolated military spouse whose life oftentimes felt like it was on mind-numbing repeat.
It became a means of coping, which was not only accepted but encouraged by my peers going through the same struggles of loneliness. We get removed from lifelong friends and family and left feeling like everything was on us to run the household, fix every emergency, and raise the kids while your other half was on the other side of the world, unable to communicate regularly.
Recognizing the Identity Gap
But that wasn’t the case for me anymore. I’ve been putting in so much work to build not only a whole new life, but a whole new way in which I viewed my own potential. And so the old habits no longer align with my new goals.
That’s not to say that I wish to cut out alcohol entirely. I do like it for a vibe such as going out to dinner and having a glass of wine. But I no longer want to spend my Sunday-Fundays day drinking by the water only to wake up on Monday and wreck my opportunity to fully show up in my business and get shit done.
Setting New Parameters
What I’ve decided to do is set up parameters, all of which seem to continue to change and evolve.
Now, I'm not drinking regularly during the week, and when I do drink on the weekend I am subbing out half the drinks in favor of water. I also don’t go home afterward and continue to drink while unwinding from the day on the couch.
I will also make sure I am still making it to the gym, even if I’m not feeling 100%. I have found that the days you feel your worst are the days you need to double down on the good habits and rituals that help you perform at your highest self.
Rebuilding a Relationship With Alcohol
This is all me being very honest about where I am on my journey. This is so you know that I am also in it doing the hard things, just like I expect my clients to do when they’re having to readjust and build their own healthy lifestyle while overcoming vices and bad habits.
Of course, many people may just suggest removing alcohol entirely from the equation, and for some that is actually the best thing for them. There may be a day that I make that decision for myself, but what I’m doing instead is rebuilding my relationship with alcohol to include rewiring my own identity as someone who no longer calls herself “a drinker,” but rather I am someone who no longer requires it and is in control when I do have it.
Rewiring Old Thought Patterns
This hasn’t happened overnight. In the beginning I had to overcome the nightly self-talk that said the TV show or movie would be more enjoyable with a beer or glass of wine. It is now something I don’t even want because I know how I will feel the next day.
Then it became about switching to water and grabbing electrolytes when there’s still time left in the night for “just one more” when we get home from an event or outing.
Little by little we get better at managing ourselves and carving out new joyful moments in our life that are no longer tied to old thought processes of what creates a good life.
Letting Go of Old Identities
I encourage you to think about old habits you wish to replace with healthier choices and what are the old identities that you can let go of so you no longer have to feel tied to them.
I can speak from experience just how profound spending time with yourself on this can help you along your journey.
Simple Action Steps (Today!)
Identify one habit that no longer aligns with the person you’re becoming.
Create one simple parameter to help you shift it.
Replace the habit with something supportive rather than removing it entirely if it makes sense to do so.
Pay attention to the identity you attach to that habit.
Practice small changes consistently until they become natural.
FAQ
Do you have to quit alcohol completely to live a healthy lifestyle?
Not necessarily. For some people removing it entirely is best, but others benefit from redefining their relationship with alcohol and setting boundaries around when and how they drink.
Why do old habits stick around even after life changes?
Habits are often tied to identity and coping mechanisms from previous stages of life.
How can someone begin changing a habit without feeling overwhelmed?
Start by setting small parameters and replacing behaviors gradually rather than trying to eliminate everything at once.
What role does identity play in changing habits?
When identity shifts, habits often follow. Seeing yourself differently helps reinforce new behaviors.
How long does it take to change habits like this?
Habit change happens gradually and often requires consistent practice over months or longer.
What's Next
If you’re tired of feeling overwhelmed by health advice, fitness programs, and lifestyle content, start with simplicity.
Choose one small habit today. Commit to it for a week.
If you want help building a system that supports consistency without burnout, join me inside M.O.V.E. Studio. It’s designed to feel calm, grounded, and actionable so you can build health that actually fits your life.
Simple. Sustainable. Repeatable.
That’s where real change begins.
